Unhappy; In love

I wanted to be under your spell,

turns out it hurts like hell. 

You lift me up just to bring me down but you forget; 

I wear the crown. 

I'm in love with the old you and that keeps me around, 

but it seems like you are always on edge and can flip out even from a sound. 

Part of me wants everything to get better 

but the other part of me fears it never will, 

I'm numb to your emotions and over the fights

I'm ready to love according to what I think is right. 

Too many years have passed for the same pot to be boiling

and too many memories are slowly soiling.

I'm ready to move forward with whatever will make me happy again, 

but my heart tells me that divorce is a sin.

I need our kids to have good role models and not be afraid to love, 

I need them to look up to their parents not see us as an example of pain,

fear, anger or all of the above.

I'm torn between sorrow and pain,

I don't know what to do or how to stop this but one things for sure,

our love is not the same. 

I just want to go back and press pause,

think everything over and tear down the walls,

I feel like I'm searching for light in a bottomless pit,

like there's no hope and nothing more to get.

I'm not even affected at the thought of being alone,

pretty sure all my fuses have been blown.

My Mr. Right has taken a left, 

I'm stuck unhappy in love; bereft.

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