So when everyone left my cousin's house, I decided to sleep in the guest room. My best friend Detroit said he was getting picked up soon so he was gonna hang out with me until he did. Detroit and I had a special bond that I felt was unbreakable. He was my best friend, besides Cali, of course. So it didn't bother me that he was there one bit. I laid down. Exhausted from the day, I was ready to sleep. Detroit sat at the foot of the bed talking on the phone to who I assumed was his ride. I heard him hang up the phone as I drifted to sleep.
Then all of a sudden he was kissing me. I kissed him back but thought to myself, it had been a long time since the "physical" part of our relationship had even been topic of conversation, let alone acted out. So I stopped him and asked "What are you doing?" He replied "Kissing you and I wasn't done." I told him I didn't feel like doing that tonight. He laughed and said, "You don't feel like it? Yeah right Ari, you always feel like it" I said "That's not true! And even if it was, I don't want to now, so just forget it!" He backed off, put on his shoes and sat there. I laid back down and before I could even close my eyes, D climbed on top of me, started kissing me and rubbing up against me. I told him to stop but he just said "C'mon Ari, you know you want me." I was like "Detroit, I don't want to do this right now." He started licking my ears telling me he would do that to me everywhere and all night if that's what it took for me to agree. I said "C'mon D, for real stop!" At that point he lifted his body away from mine and, in what felt like was a split second, had my pants off and was on top of me again. I started to panic and said "Detroit, what the hell are you doing?!" "C'mon Ari, you know you want me. I have been waiting for this all day," he said softly in my ear. "Well I haven't," I replied. He started rubbing against me again and said "Don't make me stick it in!" I tried moving and pushing him off and said "D please don't do this!" He had me trapped. He quickly moved my underwear to the side and pushed his way inside. It hurt. "Detroit, you're hurting me! Please stop!" He didn't stop or slow down. He just kept going! Kissing and licking my neck as he said, "You know you want this just as bad as I do. You know you do!" I didn't. I tried to get him off of me and repeatedly said "Detroit, please stop! You're hurting me!"
Finally, after a few minutes he stopped, look at me with a confused look on his face and said "Are you f***ing serious?!" I said "Yes I'm serious! Get the hell off me!" He whispered in my ear, "You want me to take it out?" "Yes! You are hurting me!" I replied. He was mad and said "Man, fine!!" He got up, threw my pants at me and got on the phone. I got dressed. It felt like I was moving in slow motion. I sat there in disbelief. After a minute or 2 of silence, he looked at me and said "My bad." I didn't respond. "Ari," he said. "What?" "My bad. Are you mad?" he asked. I was in shock. I said no, afraid of what his response would be. He asked if I could drop him off at our friend Canton's house. I agreed, wanting more than anything to be away from him.
He got out of the car and before he closed the door asked, "Are you cool?" I said yes and drove away.... Did that really just happen?? How could someone I know, care for and trust so much do that to me?
I told my mom who asked me if I considered it to be rape. I told her I didn't know because it was Detroit. My best friend, my homie. There's no way HE would.... rape me. ... I know for sure that had it been anyone else, I would have a different answer. Cali said she felt the same way. She said it is weird because it's D and if it was anyone else, she would flip out and tell Canton herself whether I wanted her to or not just because I'm her friend. I told her not to tell Canton or Douglas. I don't want them to flip out on Detroit. Their friendship is on shaky ground and I don't want to be the one to ruin anything for anyone. ... It's gonna be hard. We are all friends. I know I never want to be alone with him but how can I even pretend to be his friend? How could he do this to me? He's my best friend!! I'm hurt, angry, shocked, confused....
Who is Ari? She's a woman....
Shauna here ...
ReplyDeleteLet me first tell you all that Ari is about 18 years old. Being 28, I feel like her big sister. If I had the opportunity to speak to her when this happened, I would say ... Rape is rape. No matter who does it, if u say no in any way, it's rape. Teens have raging hormones and since her and Detroit's relationship had been physical at some point, I'm sure that sets confusion as to what is expected and what won't be tolerated. Detroit may have thought starting something was ok because they had done it before. But that, in no way, gives him the right or reason to think he can do whatever, however or when ever he wants with Ari. She's young, beautiful, smart and worth so much more. She has an amazing future ahead of her. I only wish someone was there for her and tell her report it. I want to tell her that other people's friendships or relationships are not her responsibility and should never be counted as a reason to not speak out and reach out for help. I want to tell her no true friend would ever do that to her. Keeping it inside will only make things worse. I want to tell her to keep her head high, this wasn't her fault, and she didn't deserve it.
Dani here....
ReplyDeleteShauna is right, Ari babygirl - no one and I mean no one has the right to do anything to you without your consent! If someone cared about you, they wouldn't continue to hurt you! It's not your fault, it's his! Get rid of him, take action and seek help! As teens I know we try to hide our sexual activity, so rape, pregnancies, abortion and abuse of any kind is totally taboo, but it's not right! Talk to some one, there is a lot of help out there, no one deserves to be hurt, get rid of D, and take action - I promise you that if you don't, that he will continue to hurt you!
If you are some one you know has been sexually assaulted please refer them to RAIIN, an organization that specifically helps with these issues! www.rainn.org